


Icarus (A Banana Fish Fanfic)

by Bakudeku_for_the_win



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx is already dead, Eiji has to find out somehow, My first fic don't yell at me, Nightmares, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Poor Bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:13:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bakudeku_for_the_win/pseuds/Bakudeku_for_the_win
Summary: Eiji thought he and Ash would be together forever. He has to find out somehow.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Icarus (A Banana Fish Fanfic)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic don't yell at me. I'll have someone beta it later.

I’m not really sure how it started. It might’ve been the way he treated me differently than the others. The way his face lit up when we locked eyes from across the room, and they always did. We were drawn to each other. Like Icarus to the sun. There was no stopping it, and all I could do was hope I didn’t fly too close. So sure, I don’t know how it began. But I’m so glad it did. I’m so overjoyed that I decided to take that internship and had the opportunity to have met him. And as I sat on that plane, slowly ascending, going up, up, far away from Ash Lynx and my whole world, I smiled. I smiled because I knew this wasn’t goodbye. I could never let that happen. I’ll see him again. And maybe this time, I'll never have to leave. I sighed contentedly and leaned my head against the seat, slowly drifting off to a gorgeous golden sunset.

</3 </3 </3

They stood stiffly in the hospital room, sweaty hands fidgeting as their blurry gazes finally reached the corpse on the table. Their hearts seized in tandem. Their beautiful, fearless leader. Unmoving. Lifeless. Cold. So, so cold. 

“Yes, it’s him”

Alex’s hard voice shook Bones and Kong out of their stupors. They were then ushered quickly out into the plush waiting area so the officials could begin the cremation process. Kong immediately pulled out his phone and started typing. As they sat in the lobby of the crematorium, every second felt like a thousand. It was almost an hour before Bones spoke. But when he finally let the words spill, they cracked and trembled horribly:

“I can’t-” he took a shaky breath, “-I can’t believe he’s actually gone. For real this time. He’s not… coming back. Never- he’s never coming back, you guys. Never. How are we going to-” His voice cut off abruptly when Alex slapped him. Hard. Bones whimpered and sank back into his seat without another word. 

Another thirty minutes had gone by before Kong silently slid his phone into his jacket pocket. His hands shook for a minute before finally settling on the frayed fabric of his blue jeans.

“I booked us plane tickets for tomorrow morning…” he uttered, trailing off near the end of the sentence.

“For what?” Bones asked solemnly.

“To go see Eiji.” Kong’s tone was strict as he composed himself and the other two men collectively sucked a breath in and nodded. “He needs to know. We have to go in person, which means you little pussies need to pull it the fuck together. People die every day. Man the fuck up and get over it already.” They nodded again. Kong was right. Loved ones died constantly in their line of work. It happens, and they have to learn to deal with it. That didn’t stop the feeling of sickening dread pooling at the bottom of their stomachs. Eiji. This wasn’t going to be easy, but then again, it never was, was it?

</3 </3 </3

_I woke up with a start, and soft creaking immediately filled my ears. My eyes slowly fluttered open to see an old wooden rocking chair settled beside my bed, slowly tilting back and forth. Creak, creak. I narrowed my eyes in confusion until a sickening metallic smell overtook my nose and made me gag. I watched as a sticky red substance pooled on the indented seat of the chair and I closed my eyes, heart pounding. My breath hitched as the smell faded away. I opened my eyes again and my jaw dropped in a silent scream. A man now rocked in the chair, a crazed expression set on his battered face. There were old brain monitors still attached to his temples, severed wires swinging with every shake of his head. With a maniacal smile and bloodshot eyes, Shorter reached into his stomach and pried open his chest cavity. A woman’s hand slithered out from the darkness behind him, slowly dragging her nails across his neck before trailing down to the hole, and with a sickening ‘squelch’ slipped itself into Shorter’s stomach. It emerged slowly, bloodied to the wrist, clutched around one of his intestines. The woman’s hand began wrapping the intestine around Shorter’s neck and as he choked, quiet giggling sounded somewhere in the back of the room. More hands emerged from behind Shorter and buried themselves in his body while he violently convulsed and screamed in agony. More hands appeared by the second. Blood is everywhere now, pouring out of Shorter like a waterfall, staining his jeans and gathering in puddles on the floor. My eyes shot back up to his face to see his mouth moving silently. With every hand into his stomach, the chair rocked faster. creak, creak, creakcreakcreakcreak. I tried to reach out to him, to save him, but my body was frozen. His voice got louder as the seconds ticked mockingly until he was yelling in agonized, frantic screams. ‘I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! SET ME FREE! EIJI! EIJI! EIJI! EIJI! Tears were streaming down his cheeks furiously as he howled. ‘ALL YOUR FAULT, ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU DID THIS TO ME EIJI! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT-’ the hands abruptly shot out of Shorter’s chest and slunk back into the darkness. His eyes slowly rolled backward as his head slumped. The room was pitch quiet as I screamed, again and again, shutting my eyes as tight as I could, clutching the comforter to my chest wishing to wake up now wake up now wake up now wake- the smell of fresh air hit me hard. I sat up abruptly, head swiveling hard to try and find my bearings. I felt a hand creep its way across my stomach and drag me down, back towards the pillows._

_I lost my breath and I thrashed hard until it let go. I reopened my eyes to find Ash seated next to me, hair ruffled and eyes tired, trying to grab me to stop my convulsing. I sighed thankfully and grabbed his hand, placing it on my heart to try and still myself. I leaned into his warm touch and he smiled, reaching out to cradle my face. Before his hands could brush my cheek a shot rang out, reverberating in the room. My frantic eyes met Ash’s as the hole in his forehead began bleeding, at first a quiet stream but quickly morphing into gushing as the seconds ticked by agonizingly. He fell slowly, forced off the bed with the snap of his neck and plunged into the water surrounding my mattress, quickly rising. I yelled his name and dove in after him, reaching for an arm, a lock of hair, clothes, anything to bring him back to me. He looked up and opened his mouth to scream, but only bubbles drifted up towards me. I swam downwards as fast as I could, the water seeming to never end. I realized then that even if I did manage to catch up with Ash, I wouldn’t be able to make it to the surface. I resolved not to let him die alone and swam straight down, faster, faster, lungs burning, reaching, reaching out. For all my efforts, he was sinking faster than I could swim. I watched as he slipped further and further away, the image of him growing blurrier and blurrier in the murky water. The liquid was filling my lungs and I couldn’t breathe. I screamed Ash’s name one last time. -------------------_

</3 </3 </3

I awoke in a puddle of sweat, sobbing silently as I tried to still my frantic heart. The sun was streaming through the blinds covering my window, illuminating the room. I vaguely remember coming home late last night and going straight to sleep. The familiar feeling of being back home making me feel infinitely better as I gather my knees to my chest and try to control my breathing. This is okay. Yeah, this is just fine. The dream has already started to slip away from my memory, and as soon as it does, I stand to change out of my soggy clothes.

By the time I’ve made breakfast and gotten ready for the day the dream has completely dissolved. I sat at my little table tucked in the corner of my kitchen nook in Japan. I licked my lips, looking hungrily at my four-cheese omelet. Before I could break the skin of the delicious egg taco though, the doorbell rang.

</3 </3 </3

The three men looked at each other solemnly before reaching out to the doorbell. This is it.

</3 </3 </3

I opened the door quickly, eager to get this interaction over with so I could get back to my breakfast and maybe look at some pictures Ash and I had taken back in America. Ash. I thought and grinned, shaking my head. My gaze then met three familiar ones, and my eyes flickered back and forth between their dejected faces, confused.   
“Guys, why are yo-” I said, but was cut off by a voice in the back.

“Eiji… Eiji m’ really sorry...” Bones stepped out from between the others and immediately wrapped me in a tight hug, before stepping back into his place, eyes down. 

“Guys! What-” I tried, but I was cut off yet again, this time by Ash’s right-hand man.

“We need to talk, Eiji. can we come in?” Alex grunted softly.  
“Wait! Tell me what’s going on! Is everyone okay? Is… Is Ash here?” They just stood stiffly, refusing to answer any of my inquiries. I sighed and walked off, leaving the door open as an invitation inside. “Fine. If you insist. Would you like some tea?” 

</3 </3 </3

Twenty minutes had passed of mindless small-talk before I finally remembered why they were here in the first place, and that I _didn’t_ know why they came all the way to my flat. “Um, guys? Now can you tell me why you decided to fly all the way out here? I’m guessing it wasn’t just to drink tea…” I trailed off. The three men looked at each other before speaking. And I really wish they hadn’t. I really wish I hadn’t fucking asked, and to have at least a few more minutes to feel okay. Because their next words irreparably broke me. 

“Eiji, Ash is gone.”

What? What do you mean gone? Is he missing? Was he taken? Well, we have to go help him then, I- My mind stuttered as I looked at each of their grimacing faces in turn. He hasn't been taken. He's not... _missing_. He's not coming back. Not this time.

The world went dark.

</3 </3 </3

“Eiji… Eiji… yeah wake him up. We’re so fucking sorry, Eiji. So sorry we weren’t there. We could’ve- Hey he's waking up! Eiji!”

I woke up disoriented. The boys helped me stand. “What?-” I started, before everything came rushing back, hitting me like a bullet in the gut. _Ash-_ I thought before I threw up all over the carpet. My lungs weren’t letting me breathe. They burned and stuttered as I dry heaved and choked on my own stomach acid. I kind of wish it would take me. Take me away. Somewhere I don’t have to feel. Where I don’t have to feel like this. Like I’m dying. Like I want to die. I’ve never been suicidal before but right now I’d like nothing more than to take Alex’s gun in my hands and pull the trigger until I have so many holes in me they won’t recognize the one where my heart used to be. My whole world is collapsing on top of my body and I can do nothing to stop it. I clutch my chest, trying to claw my way through to my heart as it explodes inside of me. Make it stop. Kill me. I want to die. Fucking kill me. 

“Eiji, Ash is gone.”

_I flew too close_

**Author's Note:**

> ahaaaaaaaaaaah... you can yell at me if you want


End file.
